Well here I am! I've been thinking about blogging for a long time now-I think I even created this site back last year, but never wrote anything! But I've decided to change up my life, and I figured that I'd share it with whomever wants to read about it, support me, challenge me, or is just bored and needs to kill some time. Whatever the reason for reading my blog about my discoveries, changes, struggles, and rants...I welcome you!
A little about me and the purpose of my "life change." I am 29 years old...if the fact that turning a whole new decade doesn't scare the bejeezus out of you in order to change your old lifestyle, I don't know what will! (I'll discuss this more in my future blogs) I live with my fiance, whom I love very much and you will see in my future blogs how much I love him...but it doesn't always mean that I like him! ;) Just kidding, but really you'll read more about our relationship in future blogs as well! We have a lovely doggie named Boston and a precious little kitten named Biatrix. (She hates me, I'm convinced, but I love her anyway!)
I currently work in a daycare...toddlers...all day...everyday. As if that's not a workout in itself, I also just recently joined the YMCA and I'm getting into the habit of going everyday-sometimes twice a day when I'm feeling saucy! I used to be a cheerleader. I know, I know, how damned great for you, Manda! But I only say that because I want to point out that I used to be skinny, fit, and healthy. When I discovered how "fun" it was to get intoxicated on whatever I wanted, which then turned into drive thru's and Steak-N-Shake munchies at 3am, then passing out at 5, all to get up and go to work and then repeat the cycle, while hungover and living off coffee...I gained weight. (Rightfully so!) Luckily, I'm out of that toxic lifestyle, but the pounds remain and it's true what they say...it really is harder to lose the weight when you get older! So, a shame spiral due to gaining weight causes depression, which for an emotional eater, makes you eat, which causes you to get more depressed...again I'm caught in another damn shame spiral! What?!
Cut to October 2010...18 months ago. At this point, I'm a "big girl." I know I need to lose weight and these pains that I was having were a wake up call that something was not right with my body. I saw a doctor, who told me it was acid reflux. I knew it was something else, so I went to another doctor. He said, very nonchalantly I might add, "Oh, you have gallstones, we must operate as soon as possible." (in a thick Indian accent) So, I had the surgery. They said it would be a simple out-patient surgery, just 3 little tiny holes and out comes the gallbladder and off you go! HELL NO...not for this girl. I had more gallstones than they anticipated, so when they got in there, they had to cut open my belly button and take it out that way! I had to spend the night in the hospital, due to excessive bleeding and I couldn't lift anything over 5 pounds (yes, only 5 stinkin pounds) for whole 3 1/2 months!! WTF?! Not to mention the amazing scar that looks awesome on my already stretchmarked belly!
Then, the kicker...it's been 18 months....and I've gained 34 pounds. So, if you're keeping track at home...that made this "big girl" into a "BIIIIG GIRRRL!!" How embarassing! Needless to say, having my gallbladder out has completely F'd my system up...I eat pretty healthy on most days, but I continue to gain weight. My skin is a wreck. And my IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)..is practically worse!!! It's just nuts. So, with that and the fact that my father was just diagnosed with Diabetes, I'm on a mission to reverse all of this crap and hightail my ass into gear.
This blog is to hold me accountable for my actions/food tracking, to vent when I'm frustrated instead of look for something to eat, to get ideas for my lifestyle change, and to be as open as I can with my struggles in the event that it may just help someone going through any of the things I talk about. It's an honest place where I just may cuss (obviously..), say things that make people upset or disagree with, or just share a bit too much information about myself. But here I am...like it or not! :)
Peace friends!
~Amanda :)
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